Within moments of you putting Modern Apprentice on I guarantee your Mum will storm in and demand you, “Turn that racket down”. Even if you don’t live with your Mum. Even if (like me) your Mum lives 11,000 miles away (admittedly she was visiting me from England at the time, but it still counts).
I’m not sure if any further analysis is really necessary. Can there be a better recommendation for a record than: it’ll piss your folks off? I can’t think of one. Still, if you really insist, I suppose I could go on to say that Ikara Colt sound like the place they’re from. New Cross in London is a dirty, dangerous place where the locals will smash you in the face as soon as look at you. Modern Apprentice allows you to experience this unique environment without the spell in hospital afterwards.
Half the record is brooding and nasty (best example: the Sonic Youth fuzz of ‘Waste Ground’) and the other half is ferocious and nasty (best example: ‘I’m With Stupid’ which is packed with more explosives than And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead at their most incendiary).
These are merely trifling details though. All you really need to know is that your parents will hate this and you will love it.
Listen to this album if you’re adopted and looking for your long lost Mum: she’ll be round in no time.
By Andy McLean. Copyright held by author.
First published in The Brag, Sydney, 2004.
Modern Apprentice is available through Smash Music.
Cool review. Ikara Colt really do sound like this. They're awesome!
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